Snowbody Loves Me
by inknamida
Summary: Series of one shots. Yukina leaves Hiei in a village after the Koorime create a huge blizzard to kill him, and he finds Youko Kurama's gang. This was never meant to be more than 1 chapter. AU and Shounen Ai warnings.
1. Snowbody Loves Me

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, Togashi the wonderful guy married to the creator of Sailor Moon does. Also, this plot was inspired and very loosely based on an episode of 'Tom and Jerry' I just saw on TV, the title is also from the show and I do not own 'Tom and Jerry' either. Please don't sue, I'm so poor that I have to go to a community college and can barely afford that.  
  
Snowbody Loves Me  
  
Shounen Ai warning, okay so it's probably more Yaoi than Shounen Ai in this case.  
  
Alternate Dimension sort of, since there's no way this would work in the actual YYH timeline.  
  
It was the worst snowstorm in the last three decades; snow blinded travelers, swallowed entire villages whole, and the freezing temperatures killed many livestock and more than a few hundred youkai. There were avalanches and blizzards everywhere. The last time the Makai had seen a winter this bad, the Koorime had learned that a Forbidden Child had survived the fall off of the snow maidens' glacier to the world below. This was no weather for any demon to be out of doors, not even if they were hiding in a cave.  
  
And yet one lone figure trekked onwards disregarding the whole storm. The cold could not touch her, the winds were merely an annoyance that forced her back, and snow was her ally. Her pale blue kimono fluttered slightly, but most of the wind from this blizzard swept around her, and few snowflakes rested on the pretty cloth or her long blue-green hair. Her eyes were wide open revealing bright red eyes, which peered forward to search for her destination before glancing down to the body in her arms.  
  
He had stopped shivering, that wasn't a good sign. Swathed in black, the fire demon's face was faintly blue, and his own crimson eyes were closed as he struggled to conserve his energy. His cloak and his spiky black hair with that cute little starburst of white in the hair above his forehead, white scarf and matching jagan ward headband were all soaked through as his body heat melted the snow that had been on him. He should have been dry, but he didn't have the energy to do more.  
  
"Oh Hiei-kun, what did they do to you?" She knew that the little fire demon could withstand even the worst cold, but the Koorime must have kept him as cold as they could for the few weeks he had been missing. It was all her fault too. The other ice maidens had probably only attacked Hiei because he was her friend and she was a Koorime too. The elders didn't want fire demons and ice maidens to be friends, especially when her missing twin brother was a fire demon.  
  
"Yukina?" A hoarse voice managed to croak before the youkai in her arms passed out again.  
  
"Don't worry Hiei-kun, there's a village, and the demons there will take care of you. Just hang on."  
  
Yukina turned around the next avalanche fall and saw the lights of the little Makai town. She trudged on until she came to the village head's house. Gently, she dropped Hiei to the snow on the step of the large building and used her youki to take the cold away from his body and heal him slightly. He's shivering again, that's better. She left as he regained consciousness. Something just outside the village gained her attention. Examining the leg sticking out of the snow, the Koorime recognized it as that of one of the villagers, and the frozen bodies surrounding it must have belonged to the rest of the demons. And there was the village head's head.  
  
"But then, who are all the demons in the houses?" She asked in fear as she ran back to her glacier, knowing that she'd have little chance in any fight, and Hiei would have to handle it on his own. "Hiei, you better be okay."  
  
Hiei stood up shakily, shivering violently. It was cold. Colder than anything he'd ever felt, colder than his own heart. It took him a minute to realize that he was getting just slightly warmer by being next to a house. It took him another minute to realize that by looking through the windows he could see flames, and flames were warm, and food, and food was good too. He completely disregarded the feel of youki emanating from a demon that was asleep inside the house as he picked the lock on the front door and entered.  
  
The demon Hiei hadn't noticed managed to notice that the door had done something in his sleep muddled mind, so he went outside to see what had made the door open. Hiei recovered quickly after placing his head in and out of the fireplace, and finally noticed the other demon as it left. So, being a fairly intelligent fire demon, Hiei locked and barred the door before grabbing an armload of food and sitting in front of the fire to eat and rest.  
  
At about the same time that Hiei pulled a really long silver hair off of the chair he was lounging in, the other demon had woken up fully in the freezing snow and had finally found his lock-picking tools in his long silver hair. And when the door still wouldn't open after being unlocked, he called his goons.  
  
"Hey you ugly snots, get yer butts out here!" His deep voice reverberated throughout the village as his henchmen left the other houses.  
  
His second in command sauntered up with a hot water bottle tucked under his shirt and a thick brown blanket wrapped around his body hiding his vestigial leathery wings. His tattered black hat had been replaced by a garish red knit cap that had his long black hair tucked in underneath. "Crap Kurama, it's colder than an ice maiden's panties out here."  
  
The infamous youko glared at his best friend and shivered in his thin, filmy white tunic. "I know. Some little soon-to-be-dead youkai snuck in and barred the door. Get Anuka to disintegrate the wood so I can get in there and kill him and go back to my nap."  
  
"Fine, I wanna go back to that farmer's daughter I found. Anuka! You heard the boss, get too it." Almost everyone went back indoors for shelter from the storm.  
  
"Have fun Kuronue." Kurama twitched his frozen fox ears, and grabbed his friend's cap, blanket, and hot water bottle.  
  
"Hey, ya prick, now it's gonna take ten minutes to get warm enough to have fun." The dark haired demon glared mildly with violet eyes before running back to the house he had commandeered.  
  
Two minutes later, and the silver fox demon was sneaking stealthily back into the warm building. He peaked up over the high back of the chair in front of the fire and saw a fully fed fire demon curled up in a blanket, a black cloak spread out on the floor to dry. The fire demon was kinda cute. In sleep his face was childlike, and a small evil smirk graced his features, and it sounded as though the little thing was purring. Too bad he had to die now.  
  
That's when Kurama found a katana placed next to his jugular, a blanket alone in the chair, and a slightly pissed off youkai standing slightly behind and to the side of him. "Who the Mekai are you?"  
  
"You don't recognize the most infamous youko thief feared throughout the Makai?"  
  
"What, is he outside? Can't be you, I caught you off-guard too easily." The fire demon's voice was filled with contempt.  
  
"Why you little...." Kurama didn't finish, merely smirking evilly as vines grew out of his long silver hair and trapped the short demon. As he moved away from the katana, he pulled the blade out of the fire youkai's grasp. And the battle ensued.  
  
Hiei flash flared the vines with his fire and disappeared to kick the youko from behind. Grabbing his foot before the strike hit, Kurama threw him into a wall. A seed flicked into the air, exploding in a bright flash as it hit the wall where the fire demon had been. Kurama dodged a slash from the katana and pulled out a longer blade made of grass.  
  
"How ever did you manage to get that back?" The youko sneered.  
  
"Apparently the legend of Youko Kurama is greatly inflated." They started trying to slice one another up, always managing to block or dodge the strikes until the fox demon landed a kick on Hiei's head during a back-flip and Hiei returned it with a cut on his upper thigh.  
  
Three gigantic demon eating plants and one black dragon later and the rest of the gang of thieves were busy trying to revive their leader and completely ignoring the unconscious fire demon. The house had been demolished, and all that was left were the charred remains of a fireplace and melted piles of treasure. Kuronue had moved the two fighters into his own borrowed shelter as they were both freezing cold and he was pretty sure the fox demon would like the personal pleasure of killing the little pain in the butt.  
  
Kurama awoke in pain, bandages covering his minor but numerous cuts and one third degree burn where the secondary flames of the dragon had hit him. He was barely thawed from fighting during the blizzard, and he had a fairly annoying headache resulting from the severe energy usage of the battle. He rolled over on his side to relieve the pressure on his tail, hold on, what's that?  
  
"What the hell happened to my tail?" Kurama roared as he scrambled out of the bed he was in. His tail was wrapped up in bandages and he was starting to feel like a mummy.  
  
A scantily clad Kuronue appeared in the doorway with a pretty little pink oni girl in his arms. "Oh that, the little brat bit it judging from the bite marks." He gestured over to the other bed in the room where the black and white haired fire demon lay curled up around a hot water bottle unconscious.  
  
"And what is he doing in here?" His cold baritone matched the equally cold golden scowl he gave the bat winged demon. The little oni girl fainted out of sheer terror and dropped the blanket she was wearing. Blushing, Kuronue retrieved it and covered up his new girlfriend.  
  
"Um, thought you'd like to deal with him yerself instead of letting the cold kill him?" He sneaked out quickly to leave his friend alone with his enemy.  
  
Hiei awoke in pain also, the pain of being slapped out of unconsciousness induced by an utter and complete lack of youki from using just a little to much energy for the Kokuryuuha. He growled in anger and general grumpiness before biting the offending hand and getting pinned to the bed by a heavy weight.  
  
"You're still alive?" Hiei yawned with lines of sleepiness etched all over his face, he was too exhausted to kill the youko that was kneeling over him now.  
  
"Impertinent little...."  
  
"Jiijii."  
  
The centuries old youko smacked Hiei repeatedly for calling him an old man in such a derogatory way, and then he pulled out the fire demon's sword and put it to his neck. "Nobody insults me like that and gets away with it! What's your name, we need it for a proper grave?"  
  
Hiei gave an evil smirk, "Nobody."  
  
The fox demon really wanted to shove the katana down his cursed throat, really, but the laughter bubbling up from his demonic belly wouldn't let him. It had been at least a hundred years since somebody dared to have the nerve of this little youkai, and he was strong, he had held his own against the infamous Youko Kurama.  
  
A moment later, his laughter had subsided and his deep, smooth voice filled the little demon's ears as he bent down to Hiei's head, "The way I see it, you've got two choices; join me, or die."  
  
"Can I take a rain check? I've gotta find my sis... Yukina and get revenge on the Koorime for trying to kill me again."  
  
"You have a sister named Yukina? Is she pretty?" Hiei was starting to find the youko's smile to be very infuriating.  
  
"Who told you? They must die!" Kurama had to be careful not to accidentally kill the irate fire demon as he flailed underneath him.  
  
"Careful firebaby, I've still got the katana here. And you're the one who told me." Hiei growled threateningly as the fox continued, "Hm. And those Koorime are after you specifically. You wouldn't happen to be their little Forbidden firebaby would you?"  
  
Hiei made a grab for his sword and Kurama laughed as he held it out of his short reach. "I'll let you go on one condition."  
  
After a minute of Hiei's red eyed glare the fire demon got tired of waiting for the youko to open his big mouth again, "And that would be?"  
  
"Either you get me five of your sister's tear gems, or you come back and be my lover."  
  
Hiei's right eye twitched as his face lost all composure, "Wha?"  
  
"Well, you're cute and strong, and you need an even stronger hand to guide you. You could be great, firebaby."  
  
"I am great."  
  
"Then why are you too weak to get back your sword?" Again with that infuriating grin of his.  
  
"Get offa me ya...." Hiei was thoroughly interrupted by an equally thorough kiss from the fox demon. "Mmph?" His struggles were useless in his weakened state.  
  
Three months later and spring was finally returning to the Makai, the snow was melting and the regions around the Koorime's glacier were flooding from the heavy snow fall. Luckily for Hiei, he was far away from that area now, glaring at his lover as Kurama tried to convince him to go with Kuronue and the fox demon to steal some well guarded treasure. His sister was safely in the Ningenkai staying with an old hag of a ningen. Of course she didn't know that Hiei was indeed her twin brother, and Kurama was under the threat of 'nearly certain death' if he ever told her on one of their occasional trips to visit the beautiful Koorime.  
  
They lived happily ever after until both Kuronue and Kurama died, leaving Hiei alone until some ningen kid named Minamino Shuuichi tricked and seduced him, and Hiei found himself once more trapped in the grip of the youko, though it was smaller and softer this time. And then Hiei had to crash the wedding of Kuwabara Kazuma and his twin sister. Yukina found out Hiei was her twin and felt sorry that the couple couldn't have children because they were both male, so she sent off one of her asexually reproduced newborn daughters to them so they would never be lonely. But all that is another story for another time, and for the meanwhile, Hiei and Kurama and Kuronue (and random pretty youkai until Kuronue dumped them or they died or dumped him or...) lived happily ever after. The end. 


	2. The FireBaby Grows Up

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, Togashi the wonderful guy married to the creator of Sailor Moon does. Please don't sue, I'm so poor that I have to go to a community college and can barely afford that.  
  
The Fire-Baby Grows Up  
  
Shounen-Ai warning, and this really is Shounen-Ai by now.  
  
PRI warning, that's Possible Random Insanity, but it might be saner than I thought.  
  
Uncharacteristic Behavior warning, Hiei acts a little weird.  
  
He watched with all three eyes as the little family walked up the steps. He watched as they entered the temple to be greeted by the old fossil. He watched through the window as the wife sat down to feed her newborn baby girl. And as he watched, a cold sadness filled his heart, the sadness of knowing that he, the Forbidden Child, could never have a family. Hiei jumped out of the tree and ran off faster than sight, leaving his twin sister Yukina alone with her carrottop husband, their Koorime baby, and the master of the temple, Genkai.  
  
The fire demon didn't go far though, just into the city, to a small apartment where his koibito was waiting. Collapsing into his lover's arms, Hiei rested quietly with neither sob nor tears, though part of him did want to do both. Red locks drifted down from above him as the demon trapped inside of a human's body held the little youkai closely.  
  
"What happened Hiei?" A light, feminine voice called to him.  
  
"Saw Yukina and the baby. She's perfect."  
  
"So nothing bad happened?"  
  
"They're happy."  
  
Kurama wasn't sure what to think, his lover seemed fragile today, but if nothing was wrong with his sister or his niece, then why was he acting like this. "What about with Mukuro, you two didn't have another fight did you?"  
  
A flash of memory, Hiei's memory was the answer. He saw through Hiei's eyes as the most powerful female demon ever known gave him permission to go to Ningenkai. But before the memory ended, he heard the woman, who had scarred herself with acid, losing her limbs on the right side and an eye just to be free from slavery, say, "So Hiei, when are you and your mate going to have a child?" Her bitter, mocking laugh echoed in his mind.  
  
"You're jealous?" The red haired young man was shocked.  
  
"What, you think it's the first time I've ever been jealous of her?" Hiei snorted, "She was the one that didn't get thrown off a cliff for being born." Kurama didn't have a good response to that, so he just stayed quiet and held his little koibito until he felt like moving, which only took a few hours.  
  
The next day, both Hiei and Kurama got to hold their precious little niece when they visited the temple with the rest of the Reikai Tantei. Yuusuke was busily congratulating his best friend Kuwabara on not being the father of the baby, which understandably began a small brawl as Yukina's husband was angry about the taunts. Yukina herself wasn't sure why he'd be angry, after all, it was their daughter even if they never had mated, but luckily for her she had Yuusuke's girlfriend Keiko, her sister in law Shizuru, and Kurama to explain it to her. While all this fighting was going on, Hiei sat cross-legged on the floor holding his niece. She was perfect, small wisps of blue hair, ice-blue eyes that were starting to make the change to crimson, a healthy youki of pure ice, and she made the oddest little noises as she struggled to look at him. Hina had cried when anybody other than her parents held her, but she could sense that Hiei was family. The fire demon felt quite guilty about the urges he had to steal the little treasure and keep it as his own. 'What the Mekai is wrong with me? I'm not a mother; I'm a bloodthirsty demon. I should want to eat the little thing, not take care of it.' But in his semi-frozen heart, Hiei knew he'd viciously torture, rip out eyes and internal organs, maim, and kill anyone who even suggested hurting the baby Koorime.  
  
Half an hour later, Hiei sat out in his favorite tree, refusing to participate in the joy of the rest of the group. He wanted to be free of his emotions for a moment or two, and refused to allow the others to view any more of his weaknesses.  
  
"Brother, what's wrong?" Yukina's soft voice came from below his branch.  
  
She waited patiently for a response, "Nothing." She wasn't that good with emotions, but it was a sign of how oddly Hiei was feeling when she figured out exactly what was wrong from his tone.  
  
"You want a baby too?" As innocent as those words were, the fire demon was still shocked into falling out of the tree. The Koorime ran over to her brother's side, checking for injuries but unsurprised when there weren't any. Her brother was strong, and he was always there to protect her.  
  
When he was able to sit up and stare at her again, she gave him a hug and continued, "I know that the forbidden children of the Koorime are very unlike true Koorime. I know that you are truly male, and cannot reproduce without a female, which is impossible since you have Kurama. And I also know that you have a heart as cold as ice, that when it melts it freezes around the ones it loves and refuses to let go. I'm the opposite, something from our father, my heart has always been warmer than normal, and I find it easier to love and care about others. I want you to be happy, brother, and if you really want a child to take care of, I'd be more than happy to help."  
  
"Nani?" The heart talk made sense, but did she really say what he thought she said?  
  
"I can get you your own little daughter in ten months if you and Kurama want."  
  
"Grlllggr?" The fire demon made choking sounds.  
  
"Okay, we should all think about that first, but if you want to adopt one of your nieces, I'll let you."  
  
It took three weeks for Hiei to get comfortable enough with the idea to tell Kurama about it. The fire demon sat down on the couch with a container of Ben and Jerry's ice-cream, why Kurama stole the sweet snow from those two guys, he didn't know. His koibito started nuzzling his neck and trying to play with the ice-cream when Hiei ruined the mood. "Do you want a child?"  
  
"Um," Kurama sat up and looked at him questioningly, "My mom would love to have a grandchild, but she doesn't even know I have you, and there's no way to get one."  
  
"That's not what I asked." Hiei had the cutest glares, those big red eyes were stunning.  
  
"I don't know Hiei. I've never taken care of a child, and it really hasn't been that big in my thoughts."  
  
"You don't want a child with me." Kurama glared as the fire demon turned his head away from him.  
  
"Hiei, it's not like that. Why do you want one? Just because of Yukina?" He regretted those words almost immediately when he found Hiei's hurt crimson eyes.  
  
"I just want one, and Yukina said I could adopt her next one."  
  
"Nani?"  
  
"I want one." The little demon growled.  
  
"I know that, did she really say that?"  
  
"Yeah, she wants us to have a kid if we want one."  
  
Kurama growled in frustration, "Fine, whatever, I don't care! You're going insane over this jealousy thing, I'm sleeping alone tonight." The former fox demon stalked off to his bedroom, leaving Hiei alone on the couch with the ice-cream.  
  
The red haired demon with a human body glared at everything as he walked down the familiar street. His koibito had left early that morning to go back to his boss in Makai; Hiei wouldn't be back for at least a week or two. Now what Kurama really needed was advice, but the one person he felt he could talk to, he couldn't, because his mother didn't know he was in love Hiei. Of course she didn't know that both her son and his lover were demons either. Oh well, he was already standing in front of his mother's house, he might as well talk to her anyways. But what would he say? 'My boyfriend wants a baby and I'm not sure about it at all, can you help me Mother?' Yeah, that would go over well.  
  
His mother, a black haired aging but beautiful woman greeted him enthusiastically with a hug and offering of cookies. "Shuu-chan will be home from school soon, he's got some questions for you about his science project."  
  
Kurama smiled, his little half-brother, Hatanaka Shuuichi, was coming to him for advice now, it was in its own way a nice thought. "I'd be glad to help, Mother. Actually though, I came for some advice."  
  
"Oh, what's wrong?"  
  
Kurama thought for a moment as he sat down at the kitchen table with a chocolate chip cookie. How could he put this gently? "Well, you see, my... lover wants a baby, and I'm not sure I want one." And now his mother would be shocked that he had a lover without being married, and she'd be angry that he never told her before now, never met 'her'.  
  
"How odd, that little young man wants a child now?"  
  
Kurama fell out of his chair with an odd 'urk' sound.  
  
"Shuuichi-kun," His mother was leaning over him worried. Why do all women seem to be omniscient? "Are you okay dear?"  
  
"You... know?"  
  
"About you and that cute little spiky black and white haired boy? Of course I do, I'm your mother."  
  
"But...."  
  
"You always go everywhere together, I've seen you kiss, he makes you happy, and I had a talk with him once."  
  
"Hiei told you!"  
  
"Oh, that's his name," Kurama's mother smiled at him a hint of mischief in her eyes, "I tricked him into revealing his feelings for you. I don't think he even knows it. His eyes are very expressive, but you should know that by now."  
  
She helped her shocked son up as he asked, "You don't care that Hiei's not a girl?"  
  
"Honey, I care that the two of you love each other and only each other. Even your stepfather doesn't mind as long as you love each other."  
  
The former fox demon choked on a big gulp of milk, "He knows too?"  
  
"Well, he did ask me if you were gay after we got engaged, and I told him you don't care about wether the person is a girl or not, just about love, and he said that as long as you weren't just going around flirting with any boy, then he didn't care."  
  
Kurama sighed, "Guess it could be worse." He hadn't known if his mother would be okay with this, many demons ignored the sex of their mates unless they actually wanted to reproduce. "So, what should I do about Hiei wanting a baby?"  
  
"Do you want one?" She asked simply with a soft smile.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Well, if you wanted one, how would you get it?" She started cleaning up the kitchen knowing that her new stepson would be home soon.  
  
"Hiei's sister said she would let us adopt her next one, so it would take a year or so."  
  
"That's unusual, but there have been surrogate mothers and such for a long time now."  
  
"Yeah, I don't know about it though, I have my reservations."  
  
She smiled back at him again, "Tell me. It may help you think things through."  
  
"I don't think I'd care about a child that wasn't mine, Hiei doesn't care because it'd be his niece. And then how would we take care of? I don't know anything about kids, and Hiei barely knows how to hold them; we'd need a bigger apartment too, and then we both work a lot. We'd never have the time for it."  
  
His mother nodded, and was about to say something but she was interrupted by the arrival of her stepson.  
  
"Mom, I'm home!" A moment later the boy's voice rang out again, "Shuuichi-san's here too?"  
  
"We're in the kitchen Shuu-chan!" She turned back to her red haired son, "Wait a little while longer and see if Hiei gets over the desire to have a child, and then tell him what you told me. Let him know your worries before the both of you decide."  
  
"Thanks Mother." Just talking to her made the youko in a human body feel a little better. He could just wait until Hiei came back from the Makai before worrying about it. For now, he'd just help Shuuichi with his science project.  
  
Hiei flew back into a wall, managing to rebound before a blast of red energy hit the spot where he had been less than a second ago. His newest sword lay shattered in pieces on the floor behind his opponent, and he was bleeding badly from a wound on his left shoulder. Seeing his opponent's quick glance to the bandaged dragon on his arm, he stopped the attempt to summon the Kokuryuuha just as he started pulling at the wards. No, he wouldn't give her the satisfaction.  
  
The fire demon suddenly awoke and noticed his boss's blue eye examining him. Mukuro should have been laughing, but instead she looked worried, or something similar, about her heir. "Why the Mekai were you so sloppy today?"  
  
Not understanding her between his sleepiness and the ringing in his ears, he managed to realize that no, the floor of the training room was not soft, he was lying in her bed, again. The bed was soft though, maybe he could just pass out again. A rough shaking relieved him of these thoughts.  
  
"Hiei, pay attention. What's wrong?"  
  
"I want to adopt one of Yukina's babies, and Kurama doesn't want a kid."  
  
"You want a brat?" Mukuro stepped away a little. "What's wrong with you? It's insane, you know nothing of kids!"  
  
"But, I want a family." She could feel his sudden wave of sadness and longing.  
  
"You have Kurama and Yukina and your niece, that is a family." Much more than what she herself had.  
  
A year later, and Hiei still didn't have a child. Kurama had been hoping that babysitting Hina would be enough, but as the baby started taking its first steps and talking and giggling as it watched her uncle with bright red eyes, the fox demon had to start the conversation he never wanted to have. Even after explaining to Hiei why he didn't want a kid, the fire demon was adamant.  
  
He held up the child they were currently babysitting, Shina, his second niece, who was only a month old. "How can you say no to a face like this?" Hiei pointed to his own, and then he pointed to the baby's, "Or this?"  
  
"Gah!" Kurama stormed off with a yell that startled Shina, making her cry. He should have never used that on the little youkai just to get him to say 'Ai shiteru' once. "Fine, you can have your baby! But you're paying for the extra costs!"  
  
The phone rang, and Kurama grabbed it in the other room. "Moshi moshi." Hopefully the angry tone wouldn't scare whoever was on the end.  
  
"Kurama." It was a woman's voice, "You sound like somebody shaved you bald and then burned your garden to ashes."  
  
"Mukuro, I'm not in the mood for whatever it is you're pulling."  
  
"Where's Hiei, he was supposed to be back three days ago?" She sounded like it was that time of the month again.  
  
"Oh yeah, that was before he promised Yukina he'd babysit again." He had to hold the phone away from his ear since the S-class demon-ess was laughing so hard. "It's not funny, he still wants a child, and now he has practice with them."  
  
"So you caved in." Mukuro ended in a giggle.  
  
"Koenma was worse when Hiei first started babysitting. Hina was giggling as he threw Koenma out a window."  
  
"Then I'll remember not to make fun of him about it." The phone clicked off as Kurama tried to glare it into exploding.  
  
"Hiei better be happy about this."  
  
Yukina was more than happy to comply, but after a year of studying Koorime and similar demons, she had a few twists up the sleeves of her kimono. She was feeding Shina as Hina dozed off in her favorite uncle's lap.  
  
"You know, I think I found a way for you two to have your own child!" She smiled happily at the thought of bringing joy to her brother. "Genkai helped me with some research, and apparently Koorime can assimilate the DNA of other creatures in order to have genetically original children! However, this is only used between Koorime, because if male DNA is used then a Forbidden Child will result. But I don't think you really need to care about that. I wonder what would happen if I try to assimilate both of your DNA, then I could have nephews!"  
  
Her brother stared at her for a moment, wondering if he really wanted a cursed son, one that could face the same problems he did. Kurama on the other hand was nodding as he thought about this. "It makes sense, bacteria can swallow up DNA from their food and insert it into their own and pass it on to new generations, as a demonic race that merely clones itself for the most part, must be able to do something to prevent inbreeding depression."  
  
"What?" Hiei was confused. "Dee-en-ay?" Kurama ignored him.  
  
"So what do you need to make it work?"  
  
Yukina smiled at them both. "Just a strand of hair from both of you." She suddenly had a bad thought. "It's probably gonna be twins, I hope. What if it's more? What if I have quadruplets? That's supposed to hurt!"  
  
Kurama echoed those thoughts, "That's too many to take care of all together!"  
  
"It's okay, you don't have to do it." Hiei tried to calm both down, but couldn't move without waking up Hina.  
  
She thought hard about what she planned and decided that her brother's happiness would be worth the pain. "No Hiei, I want to do this for you. Onegai?" He smiled softly at her; he couldn't say no and neither could Kurama and he pulled a dark strand of hair from his head as Kurama handed her a red one. A red hair, would they be part human then. Oh well, Hiei had accepted his mate, human and demon sides.  
  
The next morning, Hiei set off for Makai, Kurama went to work like normal, and Yukina announced that she was pregnant again, though she wasn't sure how many there were just yet.  
  
Eight months and a week later, found Yukina, her husband, her brother, Kurama, Kurama's mother and stepfather, Shizuru, Genkai, Botan, Yuusuke and Keiko at the hospital. After five hours in labor, the little Koorime finally gave birth to triplets. They were bald, wiggling, adorable and still blue eyed, though one had baby teeth coming in already.  
  
Yukina signed some legal forms and Hiei and his fox were allowed to adopt the three little Koorime and her forbidden brothers, thanks to Kurama's feminine looks and Koenma's manipulation of the Japanese government. Finally Hiei had his family, and Shiori had her grand-  
  
babies, even if she didn't know that they were demons.  
  
"So, you happy now?" Mukuro's voice greeted the fire demon as he returned to her palace with a baby sleeping in a sling over his back. His son, Kura was two months old and was still munching on the remains of some lesser youkai as she lifted him out. His midnight black hair was curling around his skull, and one green eye opened to peer at her before cooing and dropping the half eaten bone. "Did he kill that himself?"  
  
"Yeah, just told him to eat it, and he did." Hiei sounded fairly proud of himself.  
  
"Which one is it?"  
  
"Kura-chan."  
  
The baby wiggled in her arms and started gnawing like a sharp toothed kitten on her fingers. "Wow, that almost hurts. He's cute like you. Why did you name him after that fox anyways?"  
  
"Couldn't think up the names myself."  
  
"Figures, the other two were Kuro and Hidoina, ne?" A nod from her heir. "I can't believe you named her that, 'terrible,' she's going to be scarred for life by that."  
  
"That's why you're gonna teach her how to fight when she gets old enough, so she knows the name is meant to make others afraid of her." He wished his little girl was with him, but she was safer with Kurama's mother babysitting her brother and her while Kurama worked part time. She had the biggest green eyes he'd ever seen, and the rest of her looked like his Koorime nieces. Kuro, his other son had matching crimson hair and eyes. They seemed to be fully demonic, but could easily pass for humans even with the red eyes and blue hair.  
  
Hiei loved the three little monsters that loved to gnaw on anything available, Kurama tried to explain once that they were teething. He got to tell them bedtime stories about things he'd stolen, famous demons, and his adventures as a Tantei. Kurama read to them every day, and had somehow sneaked a book into the fire demon's cloak with firm instructions to read it to their son every night while they were away from home.  
  
And now the insane little runt had three impressionable minds to mold into the perfect demons. Hopefully they'd be strong enough to take over the Makai and Ningenkai and possibly even Reikai, but they'd still be able to love thanks to Shiori and Kurama. Okay, so Hiei probably wouldn't do that, he'd try to be a responsible parent, he'd play with them every chance he got, but he'd be damned if any of them, even Hidoina, were anything less than A-class by the time they matured. If they did manage to do that on their own though, he'd be very proud. And now he had his own family too. A purr interrupted his thoughts as Mukuro realized how to make the baby demon happy with gentle scratches. See, they were addictive, even Mukuro liked the cute little thing.  
  
And they all lived happily ever after, until Mukuro got knocked up and made the lives of everyone in the three worlds a living hell, but aside from that, Hiei was happy as could be. The end.  
  
A/N: If anybody actually like this or thinks its funny, please review and tell me so and I might write another chapter or something. It's only supposed to be this spur of the moment idea I had, so I probably will never continue it unless people actually liked it. 


	3. Mukuro Gets Knocked Uppart one

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, Togashi the wonderful guy married to the creator of Sailor Moon does. Please don't sue, I'm so poor that I have to go to a community college and can barely afford that. Also, I do not own Lucky Charms as I am not the owner or a shareholder of General Mills.

A/N: I really hadn't intended this to have another chapter, my hints at the end were supposed to lead the reader into realizing that the future is never perfect, like at the end of Princess Bride (the book version). But then my ideas became too interesting, and then I got a great review, so I had to continue!

Mukuro Gets Knocked Up-Part One

She sat on the bathroom floor for the third time that week, clicking the fingers of her right hand against the tiles, waiting again for the nausea that threatened to re-empty her stomach. The sudden uprising surprised her, but Mukuro managed to lean over the toilet in time. A short time later and she was washing her face in the sink and swishing clean cool water in her mouth to get rid of the taste.

"Maybe I should fire those new cooks too." She glared with her one blue eye at her reflection. "Feh, I shoulda just let the old cooks live. The testers aren't sick, so why the Mekai am I?"

Feeling a little better, she made her way down a few flights of stairs to her main dining table where breakfast awaited her. An aging, livery clad servant stood awaiting her orders as she sat down.

"I want Lucky Charms, go find some for me." She ordered absently, concentrating at the moment on turning her mechanical right eye on.

"Lucky charms? But my Lord, you can't eat charms, they aren't food!" He received a full on death glare from the most powerful female in the three worlds.

"I want Lucky Charms, as in the ningen cereal." When the old demon started trembling in fear and looking confused, Mukuro sighed, "Never mind, just get me the communication mirror, I'll get Hiei to do it."

Moments later she had the mirror calibrated for Minamino Shuuichi's telephone. Hiei, Mukuro's heir and future ruler of Alaric, was currently on vacation in the Ningenkai with his family of one-year-old triplets and Kurama, but he'd just have to give up vacation time to sort things out here, or else.

"What the Mekai do you want?" A rough voice laden with sleepiness answered after the seventh ring.

"Hiei, come back to work. And buy some Lucky Charms on the way." She would have hung up, but she wanted to hear the young demon's reaction.

"Fuck you." She wondered if it was a hangover slurring his speech. "K'rama kept me up all night with his silly 'needs' and then the babies got hungry, all three of 'em, and it's too fuckin' early for your shit."

She glared at the black surface of the mirror, pretending to see Hiei's tired face. "So, you can't even keep up with the fox anymore. If you won't get me that ningen cereal, I'll just have to go blow up the Ningenkai in search of it."

"Wha' 'bout that periph'ry field?"

"Hiei, that was destroyed five years ago by your brother-in-law."

"Oh."

"Go get me that cereal." She ordered more firmly.

"Fine, I'll get yer fuckin' cereal, but you gotta deal with the fox's temper." She barely picked up the words 'Bionic Bitch' mumbled just before the fire demon hung up.

Sighing, she said to herself, "At least one person can take orders, even if it takes a while." With that, she proceeded to inspect and review her entire castle staff and guards, firing nearly indiscriminately as she went past.

She had been making the lives of her servants miserable for the past half hour before she entered the servants' quarters to make sure they cleaned their own rooms too. Oddly, the maids seemed calm, too calm. Everything seemed to be in order: beds made, floors scrubbed, and whatever the Mekai else she paid them to do, so Mukuro could not find a single fault with them.

And so she yelled at them, "Why are you all so damned calm?" Ah, it felt good to yell again.

"My Lady, we… we're used to this, every month you'd be like this, only we're the only ones allowed in your bedchambers." Now the female youkai seemed a little nervous.

'Wait,' Mukuro thought silently, 'every month, they mean my period don't they? But I'm not….' The S-class demon turned to a nearby calendar that she had noticed during the inspection. She snorted as she saw one date circled crudely circled in blood. 'Yes, that's when I start… only….' Glaring at everything she could see, Mukuro came to a realization.

"We were a little surprised that, well, you are a week later than normal, so you caught us off guard." The maid had continued talking with a tremble in her voice.

'Only I'm not PMS-ing.' The gloomy thought caused an eddy of dark counter thoughts in her mind, possible repercussions and outcomes.

When Hiei entered the palace four hours later, a box of American cereal tucked under one arm, the palace was in an uproar. Servants darted everywhere, guards openly hit on maids, and all 70 something of Mukuro's generals where bickering and trying to stall the many clan and village leaders that sought audiences with the Makai Lady.

Kirin, second in charge after Hiei, came running to the short fire demon shortly upon his arrival. "Thank the gods, Hiei, she's gone nuts! She's locked herself in her room and refuses to come out, and she's threatened to kill anyone who tries to enter."

"Hn." Hiei growled slightly before calling out orders, "Tell the representatives to relax, I'll handle things shortly if she won't come out. Get me a spoon, a bowl, and a jar of milk." Once his commands were carried out, Hiei sped up to Mukuro's bedchambers.

At the door, he called firmly to her, "Open this door. Whatever's wrong can't be worth you moping like some onna."

"No." Her voice sounded weaker than normal, which was not a good sign to Hiei.

"I've got that ningen stuff you wanted."

"I hate you!"

Hiei sighed before blowing the door off its hinges with a strong blast of youki. Striding confidently, he slammed the spoon and box of Lucky Charms on his boss's nightstand, and more carefully set down the milk and bowl. "Eat, you'll feel better."

"Why bother? I'll just throw it up tomorrow." She was hiding under the covers, a pillow over her head. Hiei was starting to get scared.

"It won't be in your stomach anymore by then."

"So?"

"Are you dying or something? Did you get an STD from that pretty bastard you took to your bed last?" Hiei tried fishing for a reason for her odd behavior. She didn't reply, so he gently lit her pillow on fire. Mukuro allowed it to burn, and the fire demon was forced to throw it off of her. "Mukuro, speak to me."

"That pretty bastard made me pregnant." Her face was wet with tears, her head free of her brown covering, the scar tissue covering the right half of her face as puffy as her reddened cheek. Grabbing the other pillow, Mukuro again buried herself, seeking to hide from her heir.

Softly, he called to her as he prepared her lunch. "Are you sure?"

"My period's late, I've got mood swings, cravings and morning sickness, and the doctors tested me for some hormone and confirmed it." Her blue eye peeked out at him from under the purple pillow, "What am I going to do?"

"Babies are great... pains in the asses. Too cute to kill even after they spit up all over your last clean outfit or if they find a way out of their diapers and make a mess, and they will find a way out of their diapers, even if you duct tape it to their skin." He sighed again. "You don't have to have it, and if you do, you don't have to keep it. Whatever, it's up to you, just eat and clean yourself up. There're a lot of people waiting for you down there, and I know you don't want me taking charge of the nation yet."

Eventually, Mukuro did stop crying and worrying long enough to see to her duties, though she did have some problems remaining impartial to the problems of her people. If there was a case where a female or child was involved, she immediately favored the child or the female if there was no child. Several hours later however, her depression returned, and she claimed she was tired from a battle with one of her generals. Then the powerful demoness disappeared, leaving Hiei alone with her subjects until they were all sent home. The fire youkai eventually found her in a garden watching water fall from a fountain.

"Do you think I'd be a good mother?" The S-class demoness asked him without breaking her concentration on the fountain.

"Did you ever think I'd be a good father?"

"But they love you." She referred to the triplets.

"When I'm actually there." Which reminded Hiei of all the vacation time he was missing to help her deal with this personal crisis. "Listen, there's a simple way to see if you have what it takes to be a mother or not. I'll bring one of the kids here for you to baby-sit. If you can handle that, you can be a good mom."

"I don't want one of your spoiled little pseudo-ningens!" Mukuro yelled spontaneously.

Her vassal suddenly had the urge to hit his head repeatedly into a wall. "I know that, just calm down and try to be rational about this."

She stood up suddenly; her battle aura flaring wildly, behind her the fountain cracked and fell into the pool beneath it. "Shut up! Just shut up you... you... male!" Her aura dissipated just as quickly, as she started to sniffle. "I'm sorry Hiei. I didn't mean to yell. It's not your fault, I know that. It's his fault! He got me pregnant, and he needs to pay for that." Mukuro started fuming again.

"Dead or alive?"

"Alive, I want to deal with him myself. Just bring him to me." She starts cackling evilly, and Hiei wisely leaves intent in the hunt for the demon stupid enough to get the Bionic Bitch pregnant.

A/N: Yes, I am pretty certain that "Bionic Bitch" is a fandom thing, but I like it anyways. I'm not sure if Kirin is really the name of the guy I think it is, I'll have to look that up again later. I don't know when I'll get inspiration to finish this story, since I'm still not sure whether or not to make the father Sesshoumaru from Inuyasha (which I don't own either), but that could get messy, so... I'm thinking I'm thinking. I'll figure things out eventually, when I get bored enough to continue this fic. Please remember that this is just humor basically, and it has no real point other than the random ideas I generally have for stories, like making people have kids, because children are our future, and you can't hug your children with nuclear arms! But can you hug them with half mechanical demon arms? Don't expect this to get updated anytime soon.


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